Courage Over Fear

Here I am on this third snow day and I haven’t written anything for my blog until now. I haven’t even written anything since I published my blog months ago. When I was looking forward to the impending snow day, I planned on writing at least a few blog posts. Over the past few months I’ve told myself I’ve just been busy from all that comes with being a first year teacher and that's the reason I haven’t written anything. I’ve chalked it up to a lack of motivation to write when I can just “rest.” {The funny thing is that writing actually brings me more rest than watching Netflix.} While the busyness and demands of being a first year teacher really do distract from writing, it’s not really the root issue. Even when I’ve been given quiet and distraction free moments over the past few months I haven’t made the decision to write, even though I definitely could’ve. Instead I've scrolled through Instagram and looked at everyone else doing the very thing I so long to do.

Today as I’m sitting and thinking with not much else to do but sit and think, I’ve been able to give a name to this thing keeping me from writing. Fear. I’m fearful of so many things that might happen if I start to share my heart or even some hair advice {haha.} I’m fearful that my words won’t express what I really long to say, that no one will read what I have written or even worse, that someone actually might. I’m fearful that people who know me in real life will read what I write and judge me. I’m fearful that somehow I’ll present myself in a way that appears prideful and isn’t accurate of who I really am when what I am is truly a sinful mess. I’m fearful that I won’t have anything to say or that my life doesn’t fit the part of a blogger. I’m even fearful that my motivations might be wrong.

Despite all these fears there is something inside me that feels so compelled to write. There’s this dream in me that wants to be raw and authentic in hopes of encouraging someone else. There’s a fire in me to do something about what I see missing in our culture of christian women today. I want to talk about the things no one else will talk about and share the struggles I’m sure others have. So I will prayerfully put off the fear and put on courage. Trusting that the Lord will give me words and wisdom to share in hopes of encouraging you in the faithfulness of Christ and His ever present grace in.